A Little Piece of Heaven Tv Movie Review
A Little Piece of Heaven (1991) is about a boy who kidnaps Christmas playmates for his disabled sister.
And I thought there were no disability Christmas horror movies.
I was planning to take this done before Christmas, simply the version I constitute had a role deleted. So I had to get the DVD. I am glad I did, because the motion-picture show quality is meliorate and this is absolutely a so-bad-its-good movie.
This flick starts with Will (Kirk Cameron) telling his father that if he wants to be a grunter farmer, he doesn't have to go to college. This was in 1991.
Volition as well says he wants to do something good for the globe. Like being a pig farmer or Saving Christmas (2015).
Violet, his sister, runs to tell her mother that she ate 2 pieces of Will's birthday cake.
They are at a graveyard. If you're thinking that this volition be a respectful portrayal of developmental disabilities, y'all don't know who Kirk Cameron is.
"I ate two whole pieces of Will's birthday cake. Volition has 18 now, but Papa says I'm yet the oldest because I accept 22."
The graveyard setting foreshadows the true genre of this picture show: horror.
I've joked about non-horror picture being horror movies before. Simply trust me, this is really a horror movie.
On the bulldoze back, Volition proposes making a man-made lake and creating a recreational center around it.The family enters an orphanage called Hamlin House.
Edwina, the owner, announces that the orphanage is closing at the end of the yr and the children volition be transfered to the Raskin Facility. Maybe if the sign was easier to read, the orphanage would be more successful. White messages on a clear background?
Dorsum at home, Violet rides a stationery cycle as her father reads her a volume about Edward V and the Knuckles of York. Will comes in and mentions that when an elephant herd finds an orphan, they don't always adopt it. Violet quips that if Will were an elephant, nobody would have adopted him.
Wow, five minutes into the movie and I already detest all the characters.
Likewise, that'southward 1 of the clumsiest means to establish that Will is an orphan.
Will talks to the pigs about his fright of getting older. Violet comes in and says that pigs can't talk and also their father is sleeping in the truck.
Cut to the funeral. The eulogy is quite astonishing. It's more often than not about how the world isn't fair. It'southward hard for me to cull just one line.
"The world didn't turn out off-white, so God made Cecil Loomis to heighten a son who was not his own at birth, to raise a daughter unlike from the rest of us to be educated, productive, and an asset to her customs."
This would take been a much more natural way to reveal that Will is an orphan than the elephants, but oh, well.
Will covers upward their fathers camper, which symbolizes their father's expiry. Then Violet dresses up like a princess to go trick-or-treating. I retrieve. Some fourth dimension later (this motion-picture show doesn't depict time well), Will reads Violet the story of the Trojan Horse. This connects to how a Halloween moving picture hid inside the DVD case of a Christmas movie.
At dinner, Violet casually proposes going to heaven to encounter Mama and Papa. The music soars but to remind u.s. that this is not a horror movie.
Volition tries to go Violet to take intendance of the pigs, but she freaks out when she gets mud on her clothes.
Cutting to Violet holding upwards a cherry-red for a long time and then eating it.
Jenny Robertson's performance is like Juliette Lewis' in The Other Sister. I bring this upwardly here considering I think this scene should have been in The Other Sis. It's so obvious- have Carla Tate stare at a red longingly towards the beginning and then swallow it. This foreshadows the "important" scene where Carla loses her virginity.
That would have been the almost subtle scene in The Other Sis.
Violet and Will are at a drug store. The pharmacist gives united states some exposition near the Hamlin house. fifty-fifty though the Hamlin house is shutting downwards, the state is withal sending more orphans.
The chemist gives Will some sedatives for Carla'south tantrums called Occumsrazorin, warning that an overdose could cause her to sleep for a week.
I recall that the next function is funny, but I'thousand non certain if A Little Piece of Heaven has but lowered my standards for humor. A woman comes in with a small child and hands the pharmacist a pill bottle because she can't open up the child-proof cap.
The child cries because she wants a ballerina calendar. In response, the female parent rips upward a magazine her girl has and slaps her. But I'm more interested in this subtle indication of the time of yr,
The ice-foam vendor tells Will that Mrs. Olander always slaps her kids. Violet says something thematically relevant. I retrieve. It's non coherent:
"Volition, do you think that moon'due south at school because information technology'south too many stars?"
At night, Violet prays for God to non make Christmas then lonely that year, unknowingly jump-starting the sadistic scheme of this horror movie to kidnap kids and ends with a quirky
"A-women...and men"
God nullifies the prayer because he's not into this feminism thing.
This may be stereotyping, simply I only don't see Kirk Cameron being concerned with gender-inclusive language.
A television reporter announces that every 13 seconds, a parent or caretaker abuses a child and that a babe daughter merely died after being abandoned.
"1 wonders whether it will ever be possible to make laws to teach people who understand enough almost themselves and the people they dear to make 'heaven on earth' more than than an expression. Perhaps the reply lies in each and every one of the states to enquire ourselves, as individuals, 'what can I do?'"
I went dorsum over that several times and I still have no idea what he is trying to communicate.
This inspires Volition to get to Hamlin House and...practice something.
Edwina introduces Volition to Janet, the state-appointed official who will transition kids to the Raskin Facility. She calls the facility a hellhole.
I was considering putting a "Subtle" after that line but I can't. This flick is amazing.
Edwina leaves with Will, mentioning that Janet "goes by the volume but isn't all terrible." Janet hears.
In the very next scene, Janet brings Will a piece of cake every bit he goes through a file cabinet. This is the movie'due south philosophy: "tell, then evidence." Volition finds the file of an orphan who is coming the next day.
In the groundwork, the kids sing "this sometime man came rolling abode." It'south then clever because Will has had to grow up quickly now that his old man died, then he comes back to the home he grew up in.
Subsequently the side by side plot point, I had to expect at the DVD to ostend that this is a family picture show.
Volition crushes upwardly the Occamsrazorium and puts it within the cake to give to the new orphan.
Drugging orphans with prescription sedatives: Suitable for all family viewing.
Volition promises Violet that she won't be lonely at Christmas. Violet wants to get to Heaven to see their parents. Not a horror movie.
Will infiltrates the orphanage to
secretly adopt the new kid. The music honestly sounds like the climax of a thriller. This movie is amazing. Will uses chickens to lure the orphans out (as y'all usually do) and finds the bed of the new kid.
What's the twist?
Kirk Cameron: Yous're Blackness?!
He'due south but upset because at present he can't claim he is his cousin. He is not racist.
I would take thought that Will would have known this from the file if he got to his weight, but this isn't the worst part. Y'all know what the worst part most this is?
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| "These children are orphans. And orphans don't have parents." |
Also, he leaves some baseball cards behind.
Janet and Edwina are understandably upset. Apparently, the new child is a runaway.
Edwina: His color should keep him from getting likewise far in the customs
Oh, a double meaning with biting social commentary.
Violet is upset that she got a boy for Christmas. Beggars, choosers, etc.
She is more upset when she learns that he came from the Hamlin House. Will explains that the boy has a history of running away, so they will just think he ran abroad again. Oh, that makes it improve.
Set for a nuanced portrayal of a young boy of color?
After learning that his cards are back at the Firm, Salem Bordeaux asks for his shoes so he can go become them dorsum.
Will: Your shoes?
Salem: What's wrong with you lot man? You retarded?
Violet: No, he'due south my brother and I'thou developmentally disabled.
Salem: That's a retard!
I did non know that A Picayune Piece of Heaven (1991) would accept a scene I would actually laugh at. This truly is a Christmas Miracle.
Salem is confused because there are no bars on the windows. Volition says he arranged for Will to come up to his house.
Will: With just y'all and me and Violet and the pigs.
Salem: The cops!
Salem tries to leave and get the cards, but Will wants to make him stay. What would a rational person practice?
Volition informs Salem that he died in a burn and this is Heaven.
Violet eats cereal more rapidly. This movie has good comedic timing.
At Hamlin firm, Edwina informs the policeman that she impersonated his vocalism and reported the disappearance as a kidnapping to the FBI. I hope that the FBI has means to observe this sort of thing. The policeman tells Edwina that that was "wrong"
Back to Salem. I accept never been in his situation, but I think that I would accept a lot of questions.
Like: "Why are we three the merely ones in heaven?". "Do people on Earth know?
Salem asks how each of them died.
Will says he was shot in a depository financial institution robbery,
Violet says she ate too much and exploded
.
His second question is why he doesn't go a halo.
Salem is upset that his cards burned in the fire because he stole some of them.
Finally, Salem questions the lack of African-Americans. Kirk Cameron complains about affirmative action.
Later, Salem and Will play checkers inside. Will theorizes that this is really Hell. 'This' is watching A Piddling Piece Of Heaven (1991).
Given that Salem thinks Will is some sort of angel, clearly, A Piffling Slice of Heaven (1991) is paying homage to Ingmar Bergman's The Seventh Seal (1957).
Salem demands to get to Hell instead. Violet says Will should have gotten a girl.
FBI amanuensis Jack Daniels comes to Hamlin house to talk to Edwina. A immature girl complains that a boy told her nobody would marry her because of her ears. Edwina tells her to tell him that she'll rip off his caput and spit down his neck. I think this is supposed to exist funny considering the FBI agent is correct next to her.
Jack Daniels watches Idiot box. Edwina finds Salem's baseball card collection under his pillow.
So...the FBI agent comes to investigate and sits down to sentry Telly before going upwardly to the sleeping room of the boy in question?
Edwina tells Jack Daniels that Salem was kidnapped considering he left his baseball cards behind.
A mysterious person leaves a basket at the door of Heaven. It's cookies.
Kids, if you find a foreign handbasket of cookies on your doorstep, definitely swallow them.
Also, feed them to your dog. And dolls.
Violet is upset that Salem swears and Will keeps telling her to prevarication. Heaven sure lowered its standards.
Salem goes to the barn and a pig attacks him.
Just wondering what Salem thinks of the pigs. Does he think they are dead? If and then, are they the just dead pigs who go to heaven? Are all the other pigs non in heaven or in different parts of sky? And what happens when they breed? Or die? Doesn't Volition make pork? How does he explain killing the dead pigs?
Violet watches Will hook up a phone. Will warns Violet non to tell Salem about the phone, because it might confuse him.
That will confuse him, not the pigs.
Dinnertime. Salem refuses to eat anything.
Volition tells Salem that a lot of people would be happy to have a meal like this. Will is extremely confused nearly keeping up this "existence expressionless" thing upwardly. Why doesn't Salem ask why he has to eat?
Salem throws a tantrum, Violet runs away, and Will snaps at Salem.
Will goes to condolement Violet and Violet casually asks Will to swing 'circular the orphanage and selection upward a girl for Christmas. I certain hope in that location is a girl at the orphanage with a history of running abroad
Every time this movie delves into the creepiness of the concept, at that place's some sentimental music the reassure the viewer that this is heartwarming.
Volition dresses up as an angel to infiltrate the orphanage. Then he'll be less conspicuous.
If this was a competent movie, the angel costume would be Violet's Halloween costume.
I idea that this is the orphanage, but it is really Hazel Olander'southward firm, the driveling girl in the shop. Volition tosses a stone to a window and gets Hazel,
If this weren't Kirk Cameron, this would be incredibly, incredibly disturbing.
Will tells Hazel that he is her guardian angel to take her to sky. Hazel died concluding dark when her appendix outburst.
Hazel is confused because her mom told her that she would burn down in hell. Will assures Hazel that kids never become to Hell.
Hazel misses a peachy opportunity to enquire whether this includes LGBTQ+ kids.
I promise that St. Peters asks people their genders earlier they go into Heaven. Dying should negate the assigned gender at birth. Of course, this assumes that not-cis people get into Heaven. In a review of a Kirk Cameron moving-picture show.
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| Disbelieve Pearly Gates. |
The motion-picture show is more than than halfway over and I accept one main complaint:
Why did TV stations waste my time every year with A Charlie Brown Christmas and The Grinch Who Stole Christmas when I could accept watched Kirk Cameron dressed as an affections kidnap an footling girl, tell her that her appendix burst, and have her to Heaven?
Will deposites Hazel in the bed side by side to Violet. This picture show is so creepy, I'm surprised he didn't wrap her up and put her nether the tree.
I hope he gets her a ballerina calender.
Volition takes Salem to the barn to shoot diseased birds. Here comes the "death in heaven" question.
Salem: How comes at that place'due south affliction in heaven?
Will: Well, no place is perfect. Now if the pigs drinkable the water that's infected past the starlings, they'll die.
Salem: Pig'due south already expressionless.
Finally, the kid is pointing out the plot holes.
Volition deflects this with some rhetoric about "recycling" and leaves Salem alone with the gun.
At the orphanage, Janet and Edwina are upset virtually some other kidnapping. Edwina decides to go cheque on Mrs. Olander.
Violet wakes upwardly to her Christmas nowadays, and immediately asks what happened to her confront.
Hazel lies and says she lives in a big house and fell downwardly the stairs, only now she'due south expressionless.
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| Violet reacts. |
It'south not a horror movie. Information technology's non a horror movie. Information technology's not a horror motion-picture show. It's not a horror movie.
At dinner, Will says he bought some new clothes. Neither Hazel nor Salem question the existence of stores.
Then Carrie, the
new neighbor, knocks on the door and throws a huge wrench in the heaven facade. Will tries to talk to her with Salem standing behind him. This could be a humorous scene if information technology didn't contain possibly one of the worst dialogue exchanges I've ever heard.
Will: Don't go away, I'll exist right dorsum.
Carrie: Sounds like a TV show.
This motion-picture show is amazing.
Will tells Carrie that Salem has the measles. He tells Salem that Carrie could either be an affections or a spy, and they don't want to hazard letting her in.
Maybe A Little Piece of Heaven (1991) has some deep theological relevancy using the farm as an apologue for sky and the next-door neighbor equally...
Will goes outside to talk to Carrie. Carrie informs Will that she is the one who left the cookies. She also left her number in the basket.
I never would have guessed that this movie would involve Kirk Cameron trying to conceal that he kidnapped two kids in order to get with his new neighbor from the poster.
Will tells Salem that Carrie is an affections. Salem asks whether they take romance in heaven and high-fives Will.
I get that this is a Kirk Cameron family moving-picture show (which advocates kidnapping kids and telling them that they are dead), but I just think Salem would ask something more explicit to warrant a loftier-five.
This also raises the LGBTQ question again.
Edwina calls. Violet answers and tells her that she fabricated a lemon-meringue pie and asks if she can drib it off in an hour or so.
At a café, Edwina and the FBI Agent Jack Daniels casually talk nearly the case. Edwina complains that Hazel'due south dad was a drunk. Jack Daniels announces he was adopted, which somehow convinces Edwina to tell Jack Daniels that Will has a primal to the orphanage. Can I only point out that this is in a public caféand she'south talking to an FBI amanuensis?
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| One of the last refuges in the State of war On Christmas |
Violet tells Hazel that she also roughshod downward stairs when she was young. Her mom idea that that was what "made her age stick", just the doctors said it was from when she was born.
"Making her age stick" is the euphamism for "developmentally disabled."
Hazel reveals that she didn't fall downwardly stairs. Her daddy striking her. Violet hugs her.
This is bizzare. In any non-Kirk Cameron motion picture, this would exist the beginning of Stockholm Syndrome
Volition has to leave for "something" He assures Violet that nothing bad will happen while he is gone.
Doing all the horror movie cliches.
Violet guesses correctly that Volition is going to see Carrie. The other horror movie about religious fanaticism.
Jack Daniels wants to practise fingerprint analysis on Salem's files, equally he sees smudges and knows that Will was in the file room. He and Edna go to "Heaven."
At a bar, Carrie asks Will how Violet will have of herself if Volition goes to college.
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| An early case of Kirk Cameron using the chocolate drink motif. |
Will doesn't know because he doesn't think Violet volition be able to go out and kidnap children herself.
Carrie and Will simultaneously ask "Do you desire to have a family?"
I feel like this isn't first date conversation, and the "2 kidnapped children" might exist a deal-breaker.
Jack Daniels and Edna talk near Volition on the way to "heaven". Cecil says she and her husband adopted him because they couldn't accept children. That'southward how they started the orphanage. And so t the Loomises adopted Volition because they didn't want to run a risk having another kid later Violet.
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| You have to brush your teeth in heaven? |
A knock on the door. In another totally-not-a-horror-flick-scene, Violet tells Salem and Hazel to hide quietly upstairs while she slowly walks downstairs to the door.
With the suspenseful music.
Holding her toothbrush,
She talks to Jack Daniels and Edna, insisting that she and Will have the measles.
Jack Daniels and Edna ask if they are solitary. Violet replies that Mom and Dad are in Sky.
Later they exit, she admits that Will lied.
A Little Piece Of Heaven (1991) could do a better job portraying developmentally disabled people as capable of keeping kidnapped children.
The next day, Salem explains to Will that two "bad angels" tried to get into the house.
Then he complains that in sky, the FBI can just come correct to your door instead of having to sneak around similar on World.
Jack Daniels, Edna, and Janet talk about the case *in forepart of a playground full of kids*
Edna insists that Violet wouldn't lie.
Jack Daniels: Maybe Violet didn't prevarication. Possibly she never saw Salem or Hazel. Peradventure they're not alive.
Will confronts Violet in the befouled about the FBI agents. Carrie just walks right into the barn without announcing herself. (?)
Salem asks if he should get the gun.
Hazel asks Carrie how she died.Volition manages to get Carrie to get out and tells her to come back in a few hours. He tells Violet, Salem, and Hazel that they accept to get somewhere else.
Jack Daniels reveals to Edna that he chosen in backup agents to become the the Loomis' house considering Will might be dangerous.
Will, Violet, Salem and Hazel pack everything into their father's camper and leave. Volition leaves a notation for Carrie. It'due south probably something like this:
Dear Carrie,
I'm on a run from the FBI because I kidnapped two children and told them that they died. I'll have to postpone our date. I hope you understand.
Dear,
Volition
Salem sits on the floor in the forepart seat as Will drives. He holds up a gun.
Will tells him to put information technology under the seat. Then Will admits that he lied, they aren't dead, this is World, and the FBI are chasing them.
Peradventure don't tell him this while you know he has a gun?
Jack Daniels, Edna, and the agents investigate the Loomis' house. Edna finds a strand of Hazel's hair on the pillow and brings it downstairs.
I'm not positive almost this, but I just assumed that they don't let non-FBI agents into a law-breaking scene in case they do something similar pick up a pilus strand with their bare hands.
She even takes off her gloves.
And these guys have gloves on.
Salem is kind of upset that he'due south been with a kidnapper instead of an angel. Will insists he is not a kidnapper, which is true if you redefine "kidnapper" to mean "someone who doesn't kidnap."
Salem says he doesn't believe in God because He never answered his prayers.
Volition: Of course God answered your prayers, Salem. He said no.
Best Christmas Horror Motion picture Villains
Jack Daniels tells Edwina that Will is 1 of the "sickies" who seems normal and squeamish until "he's killed himself later he's opened burn on a schoolyard total of children."
While on the run from the FBI, Volition runs out of gas and has to stay over an empty cabin. Salem finds a knife and alphabetic character in the camper and easily them to Volition.
The filmmakers have to know what they are doing, right? They can't exist this oblivious. I scene after suggesting Will could commit suicide, Salem gives him a pocketknife.
The letter of the alphabet is from his birth mother. A knock on the door. It'due south Carrie.
Will called Carrie and told her where they were without Salem, Hazel, or Violet knowing. in this small motel.
Carrie asks why Will did "this."
And any thought of this picture existence self-aware leaves as the virtually sentimental music plays and Will looks off into the distance. Of the bathroom.
BUT It GETS BETTER.
Will says he did it all considering he only wanted a family. So a woman is in the bath of a motel with a man with a traumatic childhood (and a knife) who attempts to artificially maintain a family later on the decease of his guardian by...
I'm trying to make the reference subtle merely I can't.
But IT GETS Better.
Carrie reads the alphabetic character out loud, which gives the absolutely astonishing story of Will'due south nascency mother:
Evelyn Millicent Kent was a bullheaded xiii year-old who tried to "make grown-ups" (bodily euphemism) with Gerald H. Bearings. She got significant, and Gerald got sent to military schoolhouse. Since she needed help with uncomplicated things, she gave Volition to the orphanage.
This movie gives me so much joy.
I recommend looking upward Kirk Cameron's views on premarital "making grown-ups."
Exactly four seconds after Carrie stops reading the alphabetic character, Jack Daniels announces over a megaphone that the FBI has surrounded the motel and confiscated his weapons. They give him four minutes to come out of the house and release the hostages.
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| Merry Christmas? |
Will uses over 3 of the minutes to explain that whole "this isn't Heaven and I messed up" to Hazel.
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| Actual stuffed lamb. Symbolism doesn't have to exist subtle. |
They try to have a sentimental moment when the FBI is about to raid the cabin in 30 seconds.
Will leaves the cabin with his arms up and the only reason his artillery aren't out like a cross is realism.
Carrie, Violet, Salem, and Hazel walk exterior. Salem raises his hands, claiming they are family unit, and the others follow.
This is all punctuated with victorious music .
The FBI arrests Volition.
I'chiliad no practiced on the legal organisation, but I'g about positive this movie takes some...liberties.
I presume this is a bench trial? Merely why would the victims exist at that place? Wouldn't they be with a trauma specialist? Or at to the lowest degree Non RIGHT Next TO THEIR KIDNAPPER?
Nosotros skip right to the verdict.
Hint: Information technology'south guilty.
Judge: Y'all will serve a jail sentence of not less than-
Salem: Excuse me, Judge.
Salem explains that Will isn't a criminal because he knows real criminals from when he grew up.
Hazel says that Will has a actually nice house and Violet was her sister there.
Violet explains that their parents are dead.
Salem: Judge, did you lot ever accept someone be really prissy to y'all
The judge changes his sentence. Will has to accept his firm open up to orphans 365 days nether the supervision of Edna. Information technology will be chosen "The Cecil Loomis Home for Children."
Okay, the Judge clearly forgot police school and based his judgement on a bizarre interpretation of a song from The Mikado.
The only sensible thing about this is that the court will exist responsible for bringing orphans to the orphanage.
Everyone gathers in the barn and watches a newborn piglet.
A token blackness pig.
Violet names the hog Heaven.
When they finally turn it into bacon, they tin say "Can I have A Little Piece of Heaven (1991)?"
Violet tells Volition that he makes a good father. Will smiles at the camera.
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| Just pointing it out... |
Shot of the pigs and end credits.
A Little Slice of Heaven (1991) is quite amazing. I try not to use the term "and so-bad-it's-good" too often, and this is 1 of the few movies that I've covered that is then-bad-it'due south-skillful. Watching the motion-picture show is like having an internal boxing over whether information technology is enlightened of how disturbing it is. Overall, I believe that it is non self-aware, only some parts of the movie are so blatant that I doubted myself. Also, Kirk Cameron is no Anthony Perkins.
Source: http://disploitationreviews.blogspot.com/2018/01/a-little-piece-of-heaven.html
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